“Is it nothing to you, all ye that pass by? behold, and see if there be any sorrow…” – the Lamentations of Jeremiah 1:12
Reminds me to pause and remember times when the holidays were not so happy.
One memorable occasion was the Thanksgiving spent at the hospital where Dad was a long term inpatient in the ICU.
It was a stark contrast from the family crowded tables of other memorable holidays, and it was sadder because of the comparison.
Somewhere along the way as a kid I came to expect certain things on holidays, and in general.
I read somewhere that anger is caused by unfulfilled expectations, and I know from experience that so is sorrow sprung from that same bitter root.
Feeling stoically sorry for ourselves, stabbing plastic fork and knife into the dimly lit hospital cafeteria turkey and dressing, my Mom and I shared the Thanksgiving meal with Dear Uncle Larry, no doubt suffering from his own unshared demons.
There were smiles, there were tears, and there was hope for the continued life of my dear ole daddy lying unconscious and intubated some 3 or 4 stories above.
This year is a happy one in comparison, though my dear ole Daddy and Uncle Larry have since graduated up a few floors and out of sight.
My heart is filled with Love for those of you who are out there suffering today – perhaps even silently alone.
I will share with you one of my greatest secrets for help in alleviating suffering.
It’s simple, really. So simple that it often times goes overlooked.
And yet it is right there with you – with us all from birth.
If you are feeling very sad, or hopeless, or helpless, or angry, or anxious – or like the case of a panic attack – you are overwhelmed by something so overpowering that you bear no strength to resist it – muster every bit of courage you have inside (click – there it is) and feel the SOUND that makes INSIDE your body. (Where? Yes – there it is.)
And now… (here’s the trick)
Sing. SING.
It’s probably just a single tone at first.
Hum that note like a crooning mother, rocking her baby infant – (that’s you.)
Croon and hum and rock and wail (but don’t scream) –
And for me, all this works best in the shower sitting up against the corner on a wash rag letting the drops rain down on me and the steam to fill my lungs.
My tears mingle with the shower and I gradually rock and spit and blow and sing myself back to sanity.
And then, do you know what I do?
I stand up, and rinse and dry myself off, and I brush my hair and teeth and put some lotion and clothes on, and I march myself downstairs and smile like nothing ever happened.
If you do it right, you won’t even have to pretend, and you won’t have puffy red eyes or face.
It all gets washed down the drain with the pain.
I pray that this day brings you relief, and release and joy, and that if you’re alone (even with your family all around – yeah, that’s the worst kind) that you know you are Loved.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Love, Amanda
Listen to "Lost Love Saloon" from the Appalachia Kid album.
